hoping to finish this..

im the kind of person who get things done fast, im working with my group for thesis and i think we are getting slower and slower everytime we need to accomplish something. maybe bacause our time managemetn was not fixed well or some of us was less interested in helping. i want to live in a fast-paced life, but not all people can sope with me, that is why i feel guilt, mabye they are pressured with my actions and ideas. but this effort i am giving is for the success of our group. i hate doing thigs alone, i see myself as pathetic. but i usually do things on my own, and asks them for editing my work or adding up infos i missed.
i dont know why i am feeling like it is my own fault.
i dont hate lazy people, the thing i am annoyed most were people who do not know how to return a favor, a simple favor.
i remember what my management professor told us: "we all have the same number of hours a day, and it is up to us on how we are going to spend it" i admit that i am lazy at times, i feel sleepy reading books and choose updating my facebook rather than studying. but i also remind myself that i am a fourth year student, and few months from now i will graduate and live my chosen career now. that is my wake-up-call for studying.. "my future" and it is effective enough to make me read some of my notes sometimes.
i hope everyone also realizes my thougths.

still dissapointed..

our group was assigned to attend duty in a provincial hospital, i was familiar with the place and the hospital setting as well. but still we had some orientation to do to refresh our memory on the procedures done as procedures varies on different hospitals.
i know how people there work and perform their procedures, i know their attitudes toward patients but today was the worst. it's like i was mentally tormented by the voice of that woman, even though i am not physically involved with her business, i was affected. i am not numb, not to feel anything while others around me was disturbed. in short she was unexplainable rude, inconsiderate, hot-headed and shouting all the time since our patient arrived.
i do not like her, the way she treat us, and specially our patient.
students came to face different situations as preparation for our chosen career, and different kinds of people to different area exposures. every students know that it is hard to please people, specially if you are not so confident with your actions and careful not to make any mistakes, because as students we are very concern about rejection and failure.
students should be taught with patience and not with rudeness, strict yet considerate and reminders are all we need to be efficient. as fourth year student, we still need some simple reminders and guidance because we still are students.

scared from what i do not know..

earlier this morning, i realized my fear.. why i do not what to do such thing is because i lack confidence and knowledge. i was disappointed with myself, for i thought i was striving to be better... but realized that my best is not good enough.. :( hopefully, that experience will help me strive to be better and i believe that it is not too late to change.. i'll stop regretting the past and just prepare for the future. ;)

methanoia.. change of heart

we had our retreat last december 1,2 and 3 at bagiuo city, the hygeia batch of nursing undergone to this spiritual activity to unwind and renewing our faith to God.
i belong to section a, whom our retreat master was father vhon rudolf villacarlos, the parish priest of talim island. i just want to share some thoughts about our retreat sessions:
the word retreat mans to surrender or to back out but it doesn't mean that it is a defeat, it is rather a triumph.
"what is essential is invisible to the eyes", we keep on looking for the perfect person, place, happening  etc. but the things that we cannot see are in it's simplest form and all we need is to feel it and realize it's true meaning. i remember the movie 'kung-fu panda' where they train hard to get the position of being the dragon warrior, but when po, the panda was chosen and rewarded with the sacred scroll of the dragon warrior, it is empty and all he saw was the reflection of himself. sometimes, we expect the most out of other people especially from our family. but 'there are no perfect family or parents, but we can be a perfect child for our family'. change is the only constant thing in this world but we find it hard to do so.
we discussed about changing ourselves to be like Jesus, how to be like Jesus? the keywords were: Humility, Empathy, Sincerity, Unconditional love, Sensitivity
we should "put our problem down every end of the day" and simply talk to God, about your concerns, about how you feel, get your self near Him by conversing with Him through prayer. remember that 'God does not count your wrong doings, the only thing that He counts is the effort we do to stay away from sin' He recognize our simple efforts in repelling sin.
lastly, 'we always look for miracles to happen, but it's better if we will be the miracle to others' let us put words into action and make a change, a difference from what others routinely do. be unique and share your love to others.

laughing to smile..

sometimes laughing at others doesn't mean that you laugh at their mistakes, it may seem to be that i mostly laugh at them not because i am a mean person, and i bully them. it's simply the thought of  'it makes me happy' seeing them.. not to be hurt, but on how they react and how they also laugh at their own simple mistakes.

i love laughing despite on different situations, you know the feeling of lightness after a good laugh? the feeling of weakness and your teary eyes? im proud of myself of not being too serious about things, i can enjoy myself through reflecting from others' lives. the thing i love most about laughing is when i see a good smile on a person's face, i smile and then laugh at myself because that person looks good and it makes me wonder the reason behind that good smile. these past days, most people are problematic socially, financially, spiritually, personally, etc. but simply smiling is the best way to make others lighten up, good conversations and good relationships starts with simple smile.

try smiling to others starting now, do not hesitate to laugh and make good relationships.

this is my task on the dot...and i want to share it to all.